TT’s Nicole wonders how far we should go in the world of adventurous sex
GGG (good, giving and game) is a phrase coined by the excellent sex-advice columnist Dan Savage, whose terrifyingly biting column is syndicated in America. Dan’s column (which can be found here - probably NSFW) has done a lot to influence me on what I think about sex or, more specifically, changed what things I think of as being incredibly weird to something I might sort of consider doing if the time was right.
Being GGG is basically a sex philosophy. It’s the idea that you try to be good in bed, giving of equal time and pleasure, and game for anything (within reason). The first two points are fairly self-explanatory and ultimately fair – I think we all strive to be good, kind lovers (for the bragging rights, if nothing else). The last part – being up for anything – is a little harder to get to grips with (teehee).
To be fair, Dan writes primarily for a US audience, and we all know that his fine country has more than its fair share of sexually curious people. Reading his column, you would be forgiven for thinking the country is overrun by those obsessed with cuckolding, furries and pegging (caution advised on those links!). I’m not sure I could be game about any of those things.
But thinking about it on a more realistic, British level, I do believe we owe it to our partners to be open to new sexual ideas and inspirations. In the same way that you might try to find out more about your boyfriend’s hobbies, maybe we could start adding in sex wishes. We could even start sharing our own.
The thing is, where do we start? The British (not to fill this article with too many clichés) are well known for their prudish nature, so how on earth do you bring this up? Over a cup of tea? “Oh darling, it would be great if you could pop your willy into my bottom sometimes. We’ll just need a lot of lube and for you to take your time a bit, because it’s awfully sensitive there. Can you pass me a biscuit?”
It’s definitely difficult though, especially when you consider how much of an influence porn will have on your new fantasies. I don’t know any women who can admit to being comfortable with porn. I can’t be the only girl who, when doing something a bit more adventurous, feels like a bit part while he’s re-enacting his favourite porn scene. Right?
Ultimately, like anything with sex and relationships, approaching this comes down to creating a safe space for conversations and not laughing in the face of your boyfriend when he suggests a roleplay scenario with him as a jungle explorer and you a lonely yet feisty mountain tribeswoman. GGG, remember – and it’s easier to be the first two if you’re game, too.